Tell Me Hank, Why Do You Drink?
by FrankandJoe3
Summary: With his brain whacked by Ritalin and anesthetics, Robin accompanies Wally to his family reunion.


**I'm typing on my dad's spare laptop, seeing that my brother killed my computer for the second time this year. It's not bad I guess. I wouldn't have typed this if my dad had left my little doo-hickey that held my document that I planned on typing the rest of tonight. So if you like this, thank my dad. **

**This story is dedicated to my second cousin Mary Carlson Shull, or Carly as I call her. Her birthday was last Sunday and she turned 14. Carly is my most amazing second cousin I have on my dad's side of the family. Thanks for being there for me through it all Carly. I love ya! **

**Tell Me Hank, Why Do You Drink?**

"I'm fine," Robin insisted, a slight slur still on the edge of his lips.

Batman's eyes narrowed in disagreement. He folded his arms over his chest, refusing to unlock the car door.

"Batman, we promised Alfred the week off and you have a conference to attend. Wally is my best friend. I trust him with my life. You should trust him too. He won't hurt me, I promise," Robin begged, his eyes distant and fuzzy beneath the mask he wore over his eyes.

"What about his parents? Have you checked them out? Are they…?" Batman began to drill Robin with questions of all sorts.

Batman was just worrying for his little boy, but Robin felt smothered.

"Bruce, his parents aren't home. It's just him and Barry. You can trust Barry, right?"

Robin blinked quickly to stay upright and hold the charade a bit longer. Batman sighed and finally gave in.

"Alright… but if _anything_ goes wrong, if your head starts to hurt, if your stomach hurts, if your heart is beating too fast… call me! If I find out that your head hurt and you didn't call me, I'll-," he began to threaten.

"Bruce, if anything goes wrong, I promise I'll call you," Robin promised, pouting slightly.

Bruce smiled gently, but it was obviously forced. He reluctantly unlocked the doors to the car, but he bound from the car and appeared at Robin's door before the boy even managed to open his door. Bruce slid the door open and offered his hand to Robin. Robin frowned gently, but he grabbed Bruce's hand and was helped out of the civil car of Batman. Bruce wrapped an arm around Robin, holding up on his feet as he assisted him to the door. Robin closed his eyes and ignored his discomfort until he got up to the door of Wally's house.

"Thanks Bruce," he muttered, ringing the doorbell.

He hid a wince at the loud noise that caused his temples to pound.

"I will see you later," Bruce nodded before taking down the walkway and leaping into his car, speeding off into the distance.

Not long after, the door was pulled open and Robin stumbled forward, seeing that he had been leaning against the frame. He fell onto his best friend Wally, catching the red head off guard.

"Hey Rob," Wally said, helping his black haired friend to his feet.

Robin managed a weak smile.

"Hey KF," he greeted him, a slur still strong in his tone.

Wally raised an eyebrow at that, but he helped Robin to the blue lumpy couch in his living room. Robin didn't resist the help until he collapsed onto the couch, setting a hand to his aching head and moaned gently in pain. Wally frowned, his hands gently shaking at his sides.

"Dude, is something wrong?" he asked Robin, cocking his head gently.

He fidgeted and switched from one foot to the other, unable to keep still.

"Headache…" Robin explained, taking his mask off and resting it on his lap as he leaned his head back into the pillows of the couch.

Wally pursed his lips in thought.

"Well… uh… we have uh… aspirin… and Ibuprofen if you want some," Wally offered, his eyes on Robin's closed ones.

Robin exhaled sharply, covering his eyes in irritance.

"You need to take _your_ medicine dude. You're shaking," he muttered, closing his eyes.

Wally raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"Yeah, I'll get you some Ibuprofen… and I'll take my medicine too…"

Wally practically danced out of the room and waltzed down the hall to the bathroom. He opened the cabinet and looked around. As he lifted his hand to grab some Ibuprofen, he noticed how bad his hands were shaking. He frowned at that.

_Damn… Why of all things must I have ADD? _

He stood up on his tippy toes and brought the small container of Ritalin and popped the top off of it and set two tablets on the bathroom sink top. He slid the Ritalin back into the cabinet and grabbed the Ibuprofen, slipping two white tablets from the container and holding them in his hand. He slid the Ibuprofen into the cabinet and picked up his Ritalin pills, heading to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

As Wally did that, Robin lay on the couch, feeling weak and defenseless. He had just come back from the hospital. Days ago, his jaw had been operated on, lengthening the size of his mouth so he wouldn't have a Jay Leno under bite. The anesthetics had worn off an hour ago and his mouth was in a world of hurt. He removed one hand from his eyes to rub his jaw, but it had no effect. He moaned in pain and put his hand back over his eyes. He despised doctors. He despised dentists. He despised pain.

"Hey," Wally muttered, four identical white tablets in his hand, a glass of water in hand.

Robin put his sunglasses back on and looked at the tablets.

"Which one is… Ibuprofen?" he asked, blinking slowly.

Wally glanced down and paled.

"I uh… I don't know… Two of them are Ibuprofen. Use your ninja skills and sniff it out."

"Ninja skills my ass," Robin muttered, grabbing two of the tablets.

He looked at them closely, but there was really no significant difference. He slipped them into his mouth, tilted his head back and swallowed the pills without the water. Wally's eyes widened in surprise, but he copied Robin, only using the water to better get the pills down. He winced at the feeling of the pills as they passed down his throat, but they were gone. He headed back into the kitchen to put the glass away. Robin slid down further on the couch so he was sprawled, his black haired head buried deep in the pillows of the couch, his feet resting against one of the arms of the couch. He took off his sunglasses again, seeing that his eyes were now closed, and set them on his stomach. He listened intently for Wally's footsteps.

"How're you feeling?" the red head asked from the kitchen.

"Honestly?"

He heard Wally laugh weakly. "No, I want you to lie to me. Of course I want the truth!"

Robin closed his eyes and registered the pain using his internal computer.

"On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life, this is at least a five… maybe a three…" Robin decided.

He heard Wally sigh angrily and softly.

"Why?" he asked.

Wally's footsteps sounded and Robin heard him collapse in the arm chair next to the couch.

"Well, I got invited to some gay family reunion and I _really_ don't want to go!" he complained, leaning back in the arm chair.

Robin shrugged. "At least you _have_ family reunions to attend. I don't have anyone left, in case you forgot."

Wally winced guiltily at the reminder.

"Yeah but…" he moaned angrily. "They're _country_ people! Rob, I hate country! Please! I can't go alone!"

Robin became aware of a sudden urge to get up and move, but he brushed it away. His head hurt too much to get up.

"If I'm feeling better, I promise you, I'll go with you," Robin assured his friend.

The urge grew as did the numbness in Robin's head. He set a hand to his head.

"Agh, you gave me Ritalin," he complained.

Wally shrugged. "Technically, you chose the Ritalin… does that mean you'll go then? Please?"

Robin groaned. "Dude, I hate it too… but Alfred has it on a lot… yeah, I'm coming."

Robin leapt to his feet, immediately hating pills as he did so. He drummed his fingers against his thigh anxiously.

"Let's go," he told Wally, stretching his double jointed arms high above his head and rotating them until they cracked loudly.

Wally winced at the disgusting sound.

"Are you sure? A second ago, you were moanin' and groanin!"

Robin shrugged. "I'm not going to feel any better any time soon, so…"

Wally sighed. "Some days I worry for you."

Robin smiled sweetly and followed Wally out of the room.

**Suckish, blah, blah, blah. Find some hearted person to tell it too. I want to make a flipnote, but I want to type… next chapter will feature a basically drunk Robin. He was on anesthetics, Ritalin [ADD medicine that causes an extreme inability to sit still] and he's going to a country filled family reunion… Such fun… Well, review, if you want. It'd be nice, just saying…**

**-FJ3**


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